Day of 1

Today is a special day: 11-11-11. The day of number 1. It happened once before, like 1000 years ago lol. 

So on a day that is one in a thousand years, I figure I should at least make something, or do sth special like write a blog! Hah. Isn’t it hilarious? Since when writing a blog is such a big deal?! Lol. Well at least to me it is a little time consuming so I guess I’m trying to make an effort here…

It’s like almost another month passed since I last put myself together and tried to be unlazy. For the whole month passed, what have I done? Honestly I can even remember a thing. Uhmm let me stop for a minute and… smile… lmao

Lately life’s been a little (if not a lot) boring, even worse than it was before. I have noticed myself changing in so many ways I never thought I would. I have become more dependent on my family, and I am now not so brave like I used to be. My mind turned into of an obsolete tedious coward. I feel like I have no strength sometimes, not powerless, but energy-less. I don’t even be bothered lifting a finger to do anything sometimes, just force myself to go do it if needed. I have no motivation for life. I feel like I am not living, I’m just alive… Since when have I become so pathetic?

At some point, I went so pessimistic that I even have a thought of giving up master degree application for this year, which I have been waiting and wanting to do all my life. I thought I would go working as a flight attendant, travelling all I can, make as much money as possible and pay for a course to study in America later when I have enough money!!! Dah. Gosh I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I should not be so negative at such young age. After all I am only 22 for now. Life is still a long way to go…

Sometimes I just think why it is so hard! Am I too much of a dreamer or just simply a lazy ass?

Enough whining? Well I’m not sure. But for not let’s just stop. I am going to the facial after work since my face is such a disaster now with huge pimples on both cheeks and forehead. I cannot live my life peacefully… Oh dear… I’m too tired to even bother complaining about it any longer. So let’s just stop and I’ll be back again on another special! Yay me :X